Hey Nicole! I was overall really impressed with your storybook, “Epic Women tell All.” The picture that you chose of the crowd of women looking defiantly out, for the cover page perfectly sums up the feeling of your blog. It’s very representative of the strong women that you talked about in your Introduction of your storybook. The Introduction was fun too. It read really well and smoothly. I think maybe just having the introduction as a monologue and taking out the commercial breaks would help facilitate an even more cohesive paragraph transition throughout the introduction. I also want to know what you plan to do with Kaikeyi’s character. The show has the impression to be about empowering these women through the retelling of their side’s of the story, so it would help to make her more likable rather than a “love-to-hate,” villain, if that is the route you choose to go with.
I LOVE your storybook so far. Seriously. It's amazing. Your cover page is simple and to the point and the picture you chose is perfect. I also love the style of your introduction. The dialogue is layed out nicely and it is easy to follow who is speaking and the picture you chose gives the perfect "talk-show" vibe to your story. Your voice in this story fits perfectly with the style you've chosen and I love how you're characterizing the epic women as strong and independent. It's definitely a twist on what we are used to reading about them. I'm excited to read more from this story! the only change I would suggest is that you make the text narrower, if that makes sense. Since the lines extend all the way across the page, it can be a little hard to follow, so if you either made the text a little bigger or narrowed it into columns, I think it might be easier to follow. But that's just personal preference! Your storybook is amazing so far, so keep up the good work!
Hi Nicole! I just want to start off by saying your Storybook looks great so far! The website is very clear and concise, and it's super easy to follow. The cover page gives a perfect impression of what your Storybook is going to be about! The image you chose for the cover page does very well in representing the epic women! I love your topic- I was thinking about doing something similar to it at one point, as well! Your introduction for your Storybook was superb! The first sentence itself was a great attention-grabber and I loved how you set it up with so much dialogue. The dialogue in the show was very humorous and described a bit of what the Storybook is going to be about without giving away too much! I think the image you chose was just perfect and a great representation of the Introduction. Good job!
I have just finished going over your introduction and cover page. I was first intrigued by the title, because it seemed like it would offer an interesting perspective shift from the traditional telling of the epics, which we have encountered thus far. I was not disappointed. Your introduction was really entertaining to read and actually pretty funny. I really liked how many of the female characters are not presented as just being meek and demure, but definitely have more fire to them! (No pun intended...) I also like that you chose to include the women that often cause trouble in these stories, and not just focus on the "good" characters. Even though I wasn't necessarily familiar with the details of the reality-talk-show-style that you're aiming to replicate, it was still easy enough to follow and understand. I think your project definitely has a lot of potential and is really unique. Good luck!
Hi Nicole. I want to start off by saying I think you have done a spectacular job with your Storybook so far. I think it is a very cool point to note that you are solely focusing on the prominent female characters in the story. I think that the vast majority of the time stories with heroism and adventure tend to emphasis the male characters more so than the female. I think you pointed that out when Sita made the comment about not talking about the men in her life and only focusing on her. Which your layout of the Storybook is awesome too. I think the talk show type approach is really interesting. You do a good job of really getting the reader to feel like they're actually watching a TV show. I like how you add in the commercial breaks, the crowd's interactions, and even the twitter blurb at the end that we see all over TV. Simple navigation and good cover page too. Great job!
Hi Nicole! I like that you have chosen to follow the slight trend I have seen that makes female protagonist the main focus of the story. It's really cool how you've also made their attitudes a little more sassy than expected. It's hard to see them that way when in the readings I saw the female characters as more reserved. The main idea of having them on a talk show is great! It makes it more modern. Especially since you added the 'hashtag' bit at the end. That was great! It makes me wonder if we are going to see Kaikeyi in a new light after she gives her side of the story! Kind of like Maleficent, because I sympathized with her, the villain, after seeing it from her point of view. It's also great that you added an antagonist to the mix to make it interesting. This looks very promising and I hope to see more added to it as we progress through the semester. Well done!
Hi! I wanted to say I read your introduction this week! I myself am very interested in the women of Indian Epics so I am thrilled to see your are exploring this topic. You did a great job with the dialogue. I did a TV story once and really had a lot of fun working with it. You executed it very well. I like the host character for your show. I like that you added audience reaction and the pauses for the commercial breaks. That helped with the overall flow of your story. My first reaction was that your font size was a little small. Furthermore, your paragraph size is similar in each paragraph, I would maybe add some variety to the size. Your sentence structure looks golden. But in regards to just your content, this looks like it is going to be a very exciting story and I am looking forward to reading more about it.
Nicole, your story about Kaikeyi was fantastic! Your story plays right into my mental narrative that Rama is actually kind of a terrible husband, which I appreciate. I didn't notice any errors in grammar or sentence structure, so overall your story looks great! I like your blog design, it's well designed while also being easy to read. The only mildly confusing thing I found was that occasionally, without the names at the beginning of each paragraph, it's a little hard to keep track of who's speaking at which times. Past that, it really looks great. I loved hearing about Kaikeyi's point of view, and that Sita was truly intelligent. Rama saw a strong woman as a threat, and tried to get rid of her. I hadn't ever thought about Kaikeyi identifying with Sita as a fellow powerful woman, and it was great to see that perspective! Great job Nicole!
I've already read your introduction, so I read your first posted story and I think you did a fantastic job on that as well. I'm also doing a type of "reality show" format and I think it is so fun. Your execution of this style is very impressive and I think it is awesome how much you can do with dialogue alone! I love the changes you added to the story. It really added a lot of depth to the characters and you were able to make the story your own. The fact that you made Sita and Kaikeyi have a strong relationship was an interesting choice and I liked it. There does not seem to be any reason why that could not be, and I thought that giving them that relationship was very creative. It humanizes Kaikeyi which helps in your rendition of this story. I love your crowd reactions as well. That adds a funny, reality show touch, that adds to the originality of your story. The only thing I would say, is that the picture is a little small. Otherwise, this story was awesome. Keep up the amazing work!
Since I already read your introduction I moved on to your first story, Kaikeyi's story. Wow that was fantastic! I didn't expect Kaikeyi and Sita to end up being good friends, so that was a good plot twist. Oh, but speaking of plot twists! The part where Rama actually ended up being intimidated by Sita's intelligence was really good as well. The little alterations you made to the plot make sense and the story flows smoothly because it fits int perfectly. From the outside we see Rama as the conquering hero, but if you were to see it from this point of view it would completely change the perception of the main protagonist! . The only think I could possibly find wrong in terms of error is just located in your author's note. I believe the word "story" is misspelled once but that's just about it. Great job and hope to read the rest of this soon!
I like the idea of having a talk-show like narrative. I really enjoyed the fact that you mentioned how these stories have been altered over time. I definitely have already read many versions of the same stories and each one is very different but still keep the backbone of the story true. I chose to read Sita’s tory because I think there are probably more stories and versions about her than anyone else. I think your narrative put Sita’s life into a realistic perspective. We may think of her as what you mention as a “damsel in distress” but what you would do differently? We may say that we would know better, but when it all comes down to it, many of us would not actually be able to act any differently. When love is on the table, people are willing to do very stupid things that they normally may be totally against.
Hi Nicole! I really enjoyed reading through your storybook. I really like how your introduction gets right into the whole point of the storybook. It’s certainly fitting of the title “Epic Women Tell All.” I like how you transition from one person to another in the interview setting in order to give a good glimpse of what is to come. I think the formatting here is good. The paragraphs flow well along with all of the speech. The image you used fits all of this perfectly! Good job. The first story of Kaikeyi took a great direction! In it you really did a good job of redeeming her for her actions. I like how Sita is there the whole time giving her support. The story from Kaikeyi’s perspective also does a good job of making Rama look like the bad guy. Sita chimes in about this as well and further supports Kaikeyi’s side. Great job of expanding on this idea the way you did. I was wondering how you were going to show this from Kaikeyi’s eyes.
Hi Nicole, I am commenting in response to your storybook- Epic Women Tell all. I had to pick a random storybook to comment for my 3rd feedback. I selected your because it had a catchy name. Good job on the title. I also like how you set it up like a TV show. I like how you exchanged conversations between each character. What I lack in my storybook stories is a smooth exchange of dialogues and seeing your storybook will definitely help me with that. I liked how in the beginning Sita squeezes Kaikayi’s hand and gave her courage. It shows the loving nature of Sita. I like how you had changed up the story and as you have mentioned how Villains became Heroes and how heroes became villains. It took me a while to figure out what was going on, however I really enjoyed the story. I also enjoyed your picture choices. My favorite is the one you have used in Sita’s Story.
Nicole, I was drawn to comment on your storybook site because of the title “Epic Women Tell All”. I think this was a very dramatic title and perfect for catching a reader’s attention so great job on that! My first impression of your storybook site was great! I loved how you incorporated the idea of a talk show into your stories! It made the whole theme very exciting and dramatic. I feel like with this theme, you have so many different possibilities. You could incorporate different talk show hosts including Jimmy Kimmel, Oprah, Jimmy Fallon, Stephen Colbert, or Jay Leno. You could make this really funny and really informative at the same time! I am curious to see what you do next with this exciting theme of yours and I will be sure to look back in a few weeks to see what you added! Overall, great job and I look forward to seeing what you write in the future!
I really enjoyed reading your storybook. You have a really creative theme going on. I have yet to see anyone to use the theme you are using. The first picture you used in your storybook works really well with your storybook. It immediately let me know what kind of storybook it was going to be. I could tell that it was going to be about gossipy and catty women.
Another reason why I enjoyed your storybook was because of how you modernized it. I actually enjoy watching the “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette.” So by using this theme, you made the concept of the ancient stories easier to understand. Your kept the main ideas of the ancient stories and just told it in a different tone. I also liked how the story is formatted. I like how there is a lot of dialogue. This made it seem more like a tv show, which is what your setting was. Good job Nicole.
I love your storybook! I hate to admit it, but I'm a big The Bachelor fan, so I thought your theme was hilarious and so entertaining. Your introduction was well written, and I loved the dialogue between all of the guests. I like that you included Chris Harrison because what would The Bachelor be without him? I thought this was such a creative idea and a great way to incorporate the stories we've been reading into a modern setting. I think a lot of times it is difficult to get really into the stories or follow closely along because I am so far removed from what is happening, so for me putting a modern twist on the classic always seems to make it easier for me to read. You could go in so many different directions with this, so I thought the introduction was perfect. I am so excited to see what else you come up with! Keep up the great work.
I cannot wait to read more of your stories. This is a very interesting choice for your introduction and storybook idea. I particularly like the portions were you inform the reader of commercial break. I have been so programmed by television that I actually paused there a moment to let the commercials pass. The picture for the introduction was good and the link took me to the right page. I think that the amount of speaking that the characters did was good and not a single character I feel is going to receive the bulk of your time. I really appreciate the time you spent developing Kaikeyi, I to felt that her story was underdeveloped and deserved more time. The picture and link worked well as usual. Your author’s note helped me understand why you chose some of the plot twists. Personally I am a romantic and liked the original love story, because even in the end Rama decides to let her return. I think that if you continue with this plot you may try and explain more fully the effort that Rama exhorts to find her and bring her home after her capture, but I am sure it will all be sorted out with Sita’s episode.
I enjoyed reading more of your storybook. I really like theme that you chose for your storybook and have not seen something like that in other storybooks. The picture you used in your introduction gives a good image of what the stories are going to be about. I could also tell that there is going to be a bit of drama included as well. I like how you brought your storybook to modern terms. The Bachelor is a show a lot of people watch nowadays and I think people can relate to your stories and understand them really well because of this. I like how you told the original story but in your own way and in modern terms. I also liked how your storybook included dialogue so that it actually seemed like we were watching a show. it kept the story entertaining and fun to read. Great job!
Hi Nicole! I just read your introduction and your story about Kaikeyi. I really like the idea for your storybook and it's such an interesting way to reimagine these characters. The introduction does a great job of setting the tone and introducing the major characters. I really like the layout of your storybook too. It's a very clean format and the muted colors make sure that the reader is focusing on the text and the images. Your story of Kaikeyi was really well done. I really like how you added such a twist to her character by painting Rama in such a different light. It makes her much more sympathetic and understandable. I'm looking forward to reading Sita's story next. Have you thought about who else you might add to your storybook? Great work so far!
Hey Nicole! I watch the Bachelor/Bachelorette so it is cool that you are using the Bachelor/Bachelorette as the theme for your story. It kind of sucks that Rama’s crown was taken away from his. He was the rightful heir to the thrown and they just took that away from him. On the top of that they exile Rama and Sita. I also kind of liked how you twisted the story to make it a little more dramatic. It made it more fitting into your theme. I also liked how you added to the original story. Your story filled in the holes from the original story. For instance, Ravana’s reasoning of why he kidnapped Rama’s wife. The little breaks between your paragraphs of the crowd’s reaction added to the theme of your story. It made your story more interesting and made it run more smoothly. The breaks between your paragraphs made sense.
This week we were supposed to revisit some of our favorite storybooks and I chose yours and I'm glad I did! This week, I read Sita's story and it was very interesting. Sita is such an interesting character and I enjoy how you structured her story. Reading the events from her point of view, especially after having watched Sita Sings the Blues and developing quite a bit of sympathy for her, is super interesting. I love the way you interpreted her voice and how you structured the story as a dialogue between characters. The interview structure made the story very linear and clear. I also love the way you changed the story. It made it even more intriguing! The way you make Rama seem like a villain in the story by exploiting his wife and orchestrating her kidnapping to further his own reputation is an awesome interpretation. It's very creative and I'm glad that I read your next story!
Hi Nicole! I was initially super impressed with your storybook, so I knew I wanted to revisit it. I love how it all needed up coming together! I was able to read each story. I like how they all connected and built off of each other. The last story came together nicely and was a great end to all of the stories. I loved how creative you got with the stories, but how they all reflected the characters we've been reading about throughout the semester. It's so fun to get to read stories that have modern twists to them, it especially makes it exciting compared to some of the stories that just follow the same plot line as the original stories we've all already read. Again, I was overall very impressed with how everything turned out. Honestly, it was one of my favorites I have read! Great work!
Hey Nicole! Surprise surprise I'm back! So your storybook was one that I had definitely kept in mind revisit when prompted to! After reading Kaikey's story last time I knew I had to come back to read the rest. You give these stories such a down to Earth feel. The characters are humanized. I love how you are making the image of these female protagonists so empowering instead of the usual, as you said, "damsel in distress" image or even victims. I really enjoyed how Sita grew into a better person after what happened to her and found her own path and most of all, she learned not to be dependent on her spouse or anyone. She become strong and independent. The trend of these women becoming self empowered and telling their one rendition of their stories is very refreshing! Great job and I will be coming back for more for sure!
Hi, friend! :) This week I was excited to get the chance to come back and read more of your awesome writing. Honestly, I really felt like I was reading a narration of The Bachelor's The Women Tell All episode! The way that you combine the dialogue and rhetoric of the women and Chris Harrison with the audience reactions perfectly sets the tone. Of course, I giggled that there were still commercial breaks! :) I loved your scandalous twist to the story. Totally worthy of reality TV! Right now, I'm reading a modern, mystery interpretation book about Rama and Sita and I'm wondering now if your approach is anything like the one in the book will be. Even so, it seems like you're really on to something in discussing that there is more to Kayeki than meets the eye.
Hi Nicole! I will be commenting on the story you added called The Last Tell-all: Amba's Story. I first want to say that I like the layout and design you have going for your story book. Everything is in order and categorized and easy to find. I like how you told the last story in an interview/talk show style. Initially I had never read the original story but I liked your version of the story. The author's note was very informative and I like how you compared your story to the original. I can only imagine how people were treated for having children out of wedlock. Your story was well written and informative. I didn't find any grammar errors. Overall, I thought you did a great job! I will be looking forward to reading more from your story book.
Hey Nicole! Here I am again! I always make sure to come back and read your latest posting for your storybook as my 'free choice'! I'm always excited to see what you post next, and you did not disappoint this time! I read Amba's story this week and love what you did with her original plot. I agree with the fact that she is portrayed as just a woman obsessed with revenge, but there is so much more to her. I love that you gave her a bigger reason to be as committed as she was to exacting justice and a son would be a perfect reason. I did a story on Amba not too long ago so this one was one of my favorite stories from your storybook, and it was hard to pick since they are all great! Overall, this was a great success and I look forward to seeing more from you in the future! Good luck with the remainder of the semester and good job!!!!
Hey Nicole! This is the first time that I am reading your storybook and I have to say that I am very impressed! I wish that I had read some of your stories earlier! So far I love the setting that you have these in, almost a TV interview type setting. I could imagine all these women sitting in a couple of chairs and sharing their stories for everyone to see! I think it’s a great setting!
For Sita’s story I think this is great new perspective to her story, because as far as we know, this really could have been the story! They could have been really unhappy with their marriage to each other and needed that great kidnapping to relive themselves of their responsibilities to each other!
For Amba, I think this is a great retelling! I think that this way is great because it removes Krishna from the story and gives Amba a greater role, exactly as it should be! Great storybook!
I love your storybook and so I had to come back to read your next story. I loved your other stories and I was not disappointed with the new story of Amba. Her story was so interesting in the Mahabharata and I love the way you interpreted it in your storybook. Your storybook continues to be so creative and I love the way that you have the other characters sympathizing with each other. I also thought the way you added the aspect of Amba having a son as a way to justify her hatred of Bhishma. I can definitely see your point that that aspect was a little ambiguous, but your addition of a kidnapped son made for the perfect dramatic reasoning behind her anger. It fit very well with your storybook style. The picture was also very interesting and I think it added a little more of a traditional air to the more modern story. Overall, this was a fantastic addition to your storybook! Good job!
I have no clue why I haven't read your story book until now! I enjoyed the introduction. It clearly laid out what the stories would be about and who was going to be in them. I am guessing they are just on the show to tell a high drama story. I just read the first story about Rama and Sita. It was interesting how you put those motives behind some of the characters. I really enjoyed seeing this different perspective. I will have to read another one of your stories next week. I like the way that your site is set up as well. It is really easy to understand what is going on and where everything is located! Reading these stories always makes me want to go back and re read the original. Great job on the stories. I think you said you were done with the class now. Thanks for titling your storybook with your name when I open all the tabs with story books and comment walls it gets confusing sometimes.
This is the first time that I am reading your storybook so I read the introduction and also read the first story, Kaikeyi's Story. I loved how you set your storybook up to be like a talk show, where the women get to tell their sides of their stories. I really liked how you changed Kaikeyi's story. She was such a horrible person in the original one, where she did everything out of jealousy. I think it was nice that she got to be the good character that wanted Rama banished because he was the horrible and jealous one. I like the dialogue that you used. Having the entire thing be a conversation made it really easy to read and to follow. Your author's note was very informative and let me know how you changed your stories from the originals and also the reason behind it. Overall, I think your storybook is really good and I enjoyed reading it.
Hey Nicole, This was a storybook I first discovered about a month or two ago and it became one of my favorites so naturally I am back to give some good ol' feedback! It was really fun the way that you developed your concept for your project. A talk show is such a fun idea and it ended up working really well for this storybook. The most enjoyable little plot twist is how you made Kaikeyi go from like your typical villain to someone who we kind of sympathize with after we find out the backstory. You had a good use of dialogue and it flowed extremely well. It was nice to see the main female characters be seen not as the typical damsels in distress but as more empowered and aware women. The epics usually depict them as weaker as the male equivalents. Great job on your project and good luck with everything including finals!
Hi Nicole! I think this is my second time visiting your Storybook! I love how you chose to write it about the Epic’s women. I read “Kaikeyi’s Story” and once again enjoyed the talk show theme that you have going on. This story was very well written and detailed. I liked how you twisted the original story to where Kaikeyi goes from being a villain to a hero. I thought it was pretty interesting that Rama had asked Ravana to kidnap Sita. The dialogue portion of this story does an amazing job in keeping it flowing and intriguing. You did a great job in writing the Author’s Note and explaining your purpose and ideas for this story compared to what had originally happened in the Epics. I also read “Sita’s Story” and thought it was pretty cool to hear her perspective, especially since her husband had apparently plotted to have her kidnapped! I love how there was definitely a sense of independence and women power. Good job on your Storybook and good luck with the rest of the semester!
Hey Nicole! I was overall really impressed with your storybook, “Epic Women tell All.” The picture that you chose of the crowd of women looking defiantly out, for the cover page perfectly sums up the feeling of your blog. It’s very representative of the strong women that you talked about in your Introduction of your storybook. The Introduction was fun too. It read really well and smoothly. I think maybe just having the introduction as a monologue and taking out the commercial breaks would help facilitate an even more cohesive paragraph transition throughout the introduction. I also want to know what you plan to do with Kaikeyi’s character. The show has the impression to be about empowering these women through the retelling of their side’s of the story, so it would help to make her more likable rather than a “love-to-hate,” villain, if that is the route you choose to go with.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE your storybook so far. Seriously. It's amazing. Your cover page is simple and to the point and the picture you chose is perfect. I also love the style of your introduction. The dialogue is layed out nicely and it is easy to follow who is speaking and the picture you chose gives the perfect "talk-show" vibe to your story. Your voice in this story fits perfectly with the style you've chosen and I love how you're characterizing the epic women as strong and independent. It's definitely a twist on what we are used to reading about them. I'm excited to read more from this story! the only change I would suggest is that you make the text narrower, if that makes sense. Since the lines extend all the way across the page, it can be a little hard to follow, so if you either made the text a little bigger or narrowed it into columns, I think it might be easier to follow. But that's just personal preference! Your storybook is amazing so far, so keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Nicole! I just want to start off by saying your Storybook looks great so far! The website is very clear and concise, and it's super easy to follow. The cover page gives a perfect impression of what your Storybook is going to be about! The image you chose for the cover page does very well in representing the epic women! I love your topic- I was thinking about doing something similar to it at one point, as well! Your introduction for your Storybook was superb! The first sentence itself was a great attention-grabber and I loved how you set it up with so much dialogue. The dialogue in the show was very humorous and described a bit of what the Storybook is going to be about without giving away too much! I think the image you chose was just perfect and a great representation of the Introduction. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI have just finished going over your introduction and cover page. I was first intrigued by the title, because it seemed like it would offer an interesting perspective shift from the traditional telling of the epics, which we have encountered thus far. I was not disappointed. Your introduction was really entertaining to read and actually pretty funny. I really liked how many of the female characters are not presented as just being meek and demure, but definitely have more fire to them! (No pun intended...) I also like that you chose to include the women that often cause trouble in these stories, and not just focus on the "good" characters. Even though I wasn't necessarily familiar with the details of the reality-talk-show-style that you're aiming to replicate, it was still easy enough to follow and understand. I think your project definitely has a lot of potential and is really unique. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHi Nicole. I want to start off by saying I think you have done a spectacular job with your Storybook so far. I think it is a very cool point to note that you are solely focusing on the prominent female characters in the story. I think that the vast majority of the time stories with heroism and adventure tend to emphasis the male characters more so than the female. I think you pointed that out when Sita made the comment about not talking about the men in her life and only focusing on her. Which your layout of the Storybook is awesome too. I think the talk show type approach is really interesting. You do a good job of really getting the reader to feel like they're actually watching a TV show. I like how you add in the commercial breaks, the crowd's interactions, and even the twitter blurb at the end that we see all over TV. Simple navigation and good cover page too. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Nicole!
ReplyDeleteI like that you have chosen to follow the slight trend I have seen that makes female protagonist the main focus of the story. It's really cool how you've also made their attitudes a little more sassy than expected. It's hard to see them that way when in the readings I saw the female characters as more reserved. The main idea of having them on a talk show is great! It makes it more modern. Especially since you added the 'hashtag' bit at the end. That was great! It makes me wonder if we are going to see Kaikeyi in a new light after she gives her side of the story! Kind of like Maleficent, because I sympathized with her, the villain, after seeing it from her point of view. It's also great that you added an antagonist to the mix to make it interesting. This looks very promising and I hope to see more added to it as we progress through the semester. Well done!
Hi! I wanted to say I read your introduction this week! I myself am very interested in the women of Indian Epics so I am thrilled to see your are exploring this topic. You did a great job with the dialogue. I did a TV story once and really had a lot of fun working with it. You executed it very well. I like the host character for your show. I like that you added audience reaction and the pauses for the commercial breaks. That helped with the overall flow of your story. My first reaction was that your font size was a little small. Furthermore, your paragraph size is similar in each paragraph, I would maybe add some variety to the size. Your sentence structure looks golden. But in regards to just your content, this looks like it is going to be a very exciting story and I am looking forward to reading more about it.
ReplyDeleteNicole, your story about Kaikeyi was fantastic! Your story plays right into my mental narrative that Rama is actually kind of a terrible husband, which I appreciate. I didn't notice any errors in grammar or sentence structure, so overall your story looks great! I like your blog design, it's well designed while also being easy to read. The only mildly confusing thing I found was that occasionally, without the names at the beginning of each paragraph, it's a little hard to keep track of who's speaking at which times. Past that, it really looks great. I loved hearing about Kaikeyi's point of view, and that Sita was truly intelligent. Rama saw a strong woman as a threat, and tried to get rid of her. I hadn't ever thought about Kaikeyi identifying with Sita as a fellow powerful woman, and it was great to see that perspective! Great job Nicole!
ReplyDeleteI've already read your introduction, so I read your first posted story and I think you did a fantastic job on that as well. I'm also doing a type of "reality show" format and I think it is so fun. Your execution of this style is very impressive and I think it is awesome how much you can do with dialogue alone! I love the changes you added to the story. It really added a lot of depth to the characters and you were able to make the story your own. The fact that you made Sita and Kaikeyi have a strong relationship was an interesting choice and I liked it. There does not seem to be any reason why that could not be, and I thought that giving them that relationship was very creative. It humanizes Kaikeyi which helps in your rendition of this story. I love your crowd reactions as well. That adds a funny, reality show touch, that adds to the originality of your story. The only thing I would say, is that the picture is a little small. Otherwise, this story was awesome. Keep up the amazing work!
ReplyDeleteSince I already read your introduction I moved on to your first story, Kaikeyi's story. Wow that was fantastic! I didn't expect Kaikeyi and Sita to end up being good friends, so that was a good plot twist. Oh, but speaking of plot twists! The part where Rama actually ended up being intimidated by Sita's intelligence was really good as well. The little alterations you made to the plot make sense and the story flows smoothly because it fits int perfectly. From the outside we see Rama as the conquering hero, but if you were to see it from this point of view it would completely change the perception of the main protagonist! . The only think I could possibly find wrong in terms of error is just located in your author's note. I believe the word "story" is misspelled once but that's just about it. Great job and hope to read the rest of this soon!
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of having a talk-show like narrative. I really enjoyed the fact that you mentioned how these stories have been altered over time. I definitely have already read many versions of the same stories and each one is very different but still keep the backbone of the story true. I chose to read Sita’s tory because I think there are probably more stories and versions about her than anyone else. I think your narrative put Sita’s life into a realistic perspective. We may think of her as what you mention as a “damsel in distress” but what you would do differently? We may say that we would know better, but when it all comes down to it, many of us would not actually be able to act any differently. When love is on the table, people are willing to do very stupid things that they normally may be totally against.
ReplyDeleteHi Nicole! I really enjoyed reading through your storybook. I really like how your introduction gets right into the whole point of the storybook. It’s certainly fitting of the title “Epic Women Tell All.” I like how you transition from one person to another in the interview setting in order to give a good glimpse of what is to come. I think the formatting here is good. The paragraphs flow well along with all of the speech. The image you used fits all of this perfectly! Good job. The first story of Kaikeyi took a great direction! In it you really did a good job of redeeming her for her actions. I like how Sita is there the whole time giving her support. The story from Kaikeyi’s perspective also does a good job of making Rama look like the bad guy. Sita chimes in about this as well and further supports Kaikeyi’s side. Great job of expanding on this idea the way you did. I was wondering how you were going to show this from Kaikeyi’s eyes.
ReplyDeleteHi Nicole, I am commenting in response to your storybook- Epic Women Tell all. I had to pick a random storybook to comment for my 3rd feedback. I selected your because it had a catchy name. Good job on the title. I also like how you set it up like a TV show. I like how you exchanged conversations between each character. What I lack in my storybook stories is a smooth exchange of dialogues and seeing your storybook will definitely help me with that. I liked how in the beginning Sita squeezes Kaikayi’s hand and gave her courage. It shows the loving nature of Sita. I like how you had changed up the story and as you have mentioned how Villains became Heroes and how heroes became villains. It took me a while to figure out what was going on, however I really enjoyed the story. I also enjoyed your picture choices. My favorite is the one you have used in Sita’s Story.
ReplyDeleteNicole, I was drawn to comment on your storybook site because of the title “Epic Women Tell All”. I think this was a very dramatic title and perfect for catching a reader’s attention so great job on that! My first impression of your storybook site was great! I loved how you incorporated the idea of a talk show into your stories! It made the whole theme very exciting and dramatic. I feel like with this theme, you have so many different possibilities. You could incorporate different talk show hosts including Jimmy Kimmel, Oprah, Jimmy Fallon, Stephen Colbert, or Jay Leno. You could make this really funny and really informative at the same time! I am curious to see what you do next with this exciting theme of yours and I will be sure to look back in a few weeks to see what you added! Overall, great job and I look forward to seeing what you write in the future!
ReplyDeleteHey Nicole!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your storybook. You have a really creative theme going on. I have yet to see anyone to use the theme you are using. The first picture you used in your storybook works really well with your storybook. It immediately let me know what kind of storybook it was going to be. I could tell that it was going to be about gossipy and catty women.
Another reason why I enjoyed your storybook was because of how you modernized it. I actually enjoy watching the “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette.” So by using this theme, you made the concept of the ancient stories easier to understand. Your kept the main ideas of the ancient stories and just told it in a different tone.
I also liked how the story is formatted. I like how there is a lot of dialogue. This made it seem more like a tv show, which is what your setting was. Good job Nicole.
I love your storybook! I hate to admit it, but I'm a big The Bachelor fan, so I thought your theme was hilarious and so entertaining. Your introduction was well written, and I loved the dialogue between all of the guests. I like that you included Chris Harrison because what would The Bachelor be without him? I thought this was such a creative idea and a great way to incorporate the stories we've been reading into a modern setting. I think a lot of times it is difficult to get really into the stories or follow closely along because I am so far removed from what is happening, so for me putting a modern twist on the classic always seems to make it easier for me to read. You could go in so many different directions with this, so I thought the introduction was perfect. I am so excited to see what else you come up with! Keep up the great work.
ReplyDeleteI cannot wait to read more of your stories. This is a very interesting choice for your introduction and storybook idea. I particularly like the portions were you inform the reader of commercial break. I have been so programmed by television that I actually paused there a moment to let the commercials pass. The picture for the introduction was good and the link took me to the right page. I think that the amount of speaking that the characters did was good and not a single character I feel is going to receive the bulk of your time.
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate the time you spent developing Kaikeyi, I to felt that her story was underdeveloped and deserved more time. The picture and link worked well as usual. Your author’s note helped me understand why you chose some of the plot twists. Personally I am a romantic and liked the original love story, because even in the end Rama decides to let her return. I think that if you continue with this plot you may try and explain more fully the effort that Rama exhorts to find her and bring her home after her capture, but I am sure it will all be sorted out with Sita’s episode.
Hi Nicole,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading more of your storybook. I really like theme that you chose for your storybook and have not seen something like that in other storybooks. The picture you used in your introduction gives a good image of what the stories are going to be about. I could also tell that there is going to be a bit of drama included as well. I like how you brought your storybook to modern terms. The Bachelor is a show a lot of people watch nowadays and I think people can relate to your stories and understand them really well because of this. I like how you told the original story but in your own way and in modern terms. I also liked how your storybook included dialogue so that it actually seemed like we were watching a show. it kept the story entertaining and fun to read. Great job!
Hi Nicole! I just read your introduction and your story about Kaikeyi. I really like the idea for your storybook and it's such an interesting way to reimagine these characters. The introduction does a great job of setting the tone and introducing the major characters. I really like the layout of your storybook too. It's a very clean format and the muted colors make sure that the reader is focusing on the text and the images. Your story of Kaikeyi was really well done. I really like how you added such a twist to her character by painting Rama in such a different light. It makes her much more sympathetic and understandable. I'm looking forward to reading Sita's story next. Have you thought about who else you might add to your storybook? Great work so far!
ReplyDeleteHey Nicole!
ReplyDeleteI watch the Bachelor/Bachelorette so it is cool that you are using the Bachelor/Bachelorette as the theme for your story. It kind of sucks that Rama’s crown was taken away from his. He was the rightful heir to the thrown and they just took that away from him. On the top of that they exile Rama and Sita. I also kind of liked how you twisted the story to make it a little more dramatic. It made it more fitting into your theme. I also liked how you added to the original story. Your story filled in the holes from the original story. For instance, Ravana’s reasoning of why he kidnapped Rama’s wife.
The little breaks between your paragraphs of the crowd’s reaction added to the theme of your story. It made your story more interesting and made it run more smoothly. The breaks between your paragraphs made sense.
This week we were supposed to revisit some of our favorite storybooks and I chose yours and I'm glad I did! This week, I read Sita's story and it was very interesting. Sita is such an interesting character and I enjoy how you structured her story. Reading the events from her point of view, especially after having watched Sita Sings the Blues and developing quite a bit of sympathy for her, is super interesting. I love the way you interpreted her voice and how you structured the story as a dialogue between characters. The interview structure made the story very linear and clear. I also love the way you changed the story. It made it even more intriguing! The way you make Rama seem like a villain in the story by exploiting his wife and orchestrating her kidnapping to further his own reputation is an awesome interpretation. It's very creative and I'm glad that I read your next story!
ReplyDeleteHi Nicole! I was initially super impressed with your storybook, so I knew I wanted to revisit it. I love how it all needed up coming together! I was able to read each story. I like how they all connected and built off of each other. The last story came together nicely and was a great end to all of the stories. I loved how creative you got with the stories, but how they all reflected the characters we've been reading about throughout the semester. It's so fun to get to read stories that have modern twists to them, it especially makes it exciting compared to some of the stories that just follow the same plot line as the original stories we've all already read. Again, I was overall very impressed with how everything turned out. Honestly, it was one of my favorites I have read! Great work!
ReplyDeleteHey Nicole! Surprise surprise I'm back! So your storybook was one that I had definitely kept in mind revisit when prompted to! After reading Kaikey's story last time I knew I had to come back to read the rest. You give these stories such a down to Earth feel. The characters are humanized. I love how you are making the image of these female protagonists so empowering instead of the usual, as you said, "damsel in distress" image or even victims. I really enjoyed how Sita grew into a better person after what happened to her and found her own path and most of all, she learned not to be dependent on her spouse or anyone. She become strong and independent. The trend of these women becoming self empowered and telling their one rendition of their stories is very refreshing! Great job and I will be coming back for more for sure!
ReplyDeleteHi, friend! :) This week I was excited to get the chance to come back and read more of your awesome writing. Honestly, I really felt like I was reading a narration of The Bachelor's The Women Tell All episode! The way that you combine the dialogue and rhetoric of the women and Chris Harrison with the audience reactions perfectly sets the tone. Of course, I giggled that there were still commercial breaks! :) I loved your scandalous twist to the story. Totally worthy of reality TV! Right now, I'm reading a modern, mystery interpretation book about Rama and Sita and I'm wondering now if your approach is anything like the one in the book will be. Even so, it seems like you're really on to something in discussing that there is more to Kayeki than meets the eye.
ReplyDeleteHi Nicole! I will be commenting on the story you added called The Last Tell-all: Amba's Story. I first want to say that I like the layout and design you have going for your story book. Everything is in order and categorized and easy to find. I like how you told the last story in an interview/talk show style. Initially I had never read the original story but I liked your version of the story. The author's note was very informative and I like how you compared your story to the original. I can only imagine how people were treated for having children out of wedlock. Your story was well written and informative. I didn't find any grammar errors. Overall, I thought you did a great job! I will be looking forward to reading more from your story book.
ReplyDeleteHey Nicole! Here I am again! I always make sure to come back and read your latest posting for your storybook as my 'free choice'! I'm always excited to see what you post next, and you did not disappoint this time! I read Amba's story this week and love what you did with her original plot. I agree with the fact that she is portrayed as just a woman obsessed with revenge, but there is so much more to her. I love that you gave her a bigger reason to be as committed as she was to exacting justice and a son would be a perfect reason. I did a story on Amba not too long ago so this one was one of my favorite stories from your storybook, and it was hard to pick since they are all great! Overall, this was a great success and I look forward to seeing more from you in the future! Good luck with the remainder of the semester and good job!!!!
ReplyDeleteHey Nicole!
ReplyDeleteThis is the first time that I am reading your storybook and I have to say that I am very impressed! I wish that I had read some of your stories earlier! So far I love the setting that you have these in, almost a TV interview type setting. I could imagine all these women sitting in a couple of chairs and sharing their stories for everyone to see! I think it’s a great setting!
For Sita’s story I think this is great new perspective to her story, because as far as we know, this really could have been the story! They could have been really unhappy with their marriage to each other and needed that great kidnapping to relive themselves of their responsibilities to each other!
For Amba, I think this is a great retelling! I think that this way is great because it removes Krishna from the story and gives Amba a greater role, exactly as it should be! Great storybook!
I love your storybook and so I had to come back to read your next story. I loved your other stories and I was not disappointed with the new story of Amba. Her story was so interesting in the Mahabharata and I love the way you interpreted it in your storybook. Your storybook continues to be so creative and I love the way that you have the other characters sympathizing with each other. I also thought the way you added the aspect of Amba having a son as a way to justify her hatred of Bhishma. I can definitely see your point that that aspect was a little ambiguous, but your addition of a kidnapped son made for the perfect dramatic reasoning behind her anger. It fit very well with your storybook style. The picture was also very interesting and I think it added a little more of a traditional air to the more modern story. Overall, this was a fantastic addition to your storybook! Good job!
ReplyDeleteHey Nicole,
ReplyDeleteI have no clue why I haven't read your story book until now! I enjoyed the introduction. It clearly laid out what the stories would be about and who was going to be in them. I am guessing they are just on the show to tell a high drama story. I just read the first story about Rama and Sita. It was interesting how you put those motives behind some of the characters. I really enjoyed seeing this different perspective. I will have to read another one of your stories next week. I like the way that your site is set up as well. It is really easy to understand what is going on and where everything is located! Reading these stories always makes me want to go back and re read the original. Great job on the stories. I think you said you were done with the class now. Thanks for titling your storybook with your name when I open all the tabs with story books and comment walls it gets confusing sometimes.
This is the first time that I am reading your storybook so I read the introduction and also read the first story, Kaikeyi's Story. I loved how you set your storybook up to be like a talk show, where the women get to tell their sides of their stories. I really liked how you changed Kaikeyi's story. She was such a horrible person in the original one, where she did everything out of jealousy. I think it was nice that she got to be the good character that wanted Rama banished because he was the horrible and jealous one. I like the dialogue that you used. Having the entire thing be a conversation made it really easy to read and to follow. Your author's note was very informative and let me know how you changed your stories from the originals and also the reason behind it. Overall, I think your storybook is really good and I enjoyed reading it.
ReplyDeleteHey Nicole,
ReplyDeleteThis was a storybook I first discovered about a month or two ago and it became one of my favorites so naturally I am back to give some good ol' feedback! It was really fun the way that you developed your concept for your project. A talk show is such a fun idea and it ended up working really well for this storybook. The most enjoyable little plot twist is how you made Kaikeyi go from like your typical villain to someone who we kind of sympathize with after we find out the backstory. You had a good use of dialogue and it flowed extremely well. It was nice to see the main female characters be seen not as the typical damsels in distress but as more empowered and aware women. The epics usually depict them as weaker as the male equivalents. Great job on your project and good luck with everything including finals!
Hi Nicole! I think this is my second time visiting your Storybook! I love how you chose to write it about the Epic’s women. I read “Kaikeyi’s Story” and once again enjoyed the talk show theme that you have going on. This story was very well written and detailed. I liked how you twisted the original story to where Kaikeyi goes from being a villain to a hero. I thought it was pretty interesting that Rama had asked Ravana to kidnap Sita. The dialogue portion of this story does an amazing job in keeping it flowing and intriguing. You did a great job in writing the Author’s Note and explaining your purpose and ideas for this story compared to what had originally happened in the Epics. I also read “Sita’s Story” and thought it was pretty cool to hear her perspective, especially since her husband had apparently plotted to have her kidnapped! I love how there was definitely a sense of independence and women power. Good job on your Storybook and good luck with the rest of the semester!
ReplyDelete